It's a question I never thought about before and never thought I'd ask. And then I was bald.
The hair loss came around quickly for me, my chemo started with weekly infusions for 12 weeks and was followed by chemo every 3 weeks, 4 times (half way through this one now). I started losing my hair at an alarming rate around week 3. I had long hair before this all started and to regain some control I cut it short before my first chemo, regaining control will be a common theme throughout every topic so just prepare for that. I put my hair in a tiny ponytail and refused to brush it in case it all came out (It did anyway). My delusional logic also decided that not washing my hair would prevent it falling out, but eventually I gave myself the ick and had to wash my disgusting hair, and that's when it happened. A whole plastic bag of my thick hair and it kept coming, I thought I'd cry but it was just so surreal I kept it together. ANYWAY, I still had enough hair to look 'normal' so I thought I would be ok for a little while longer, but then the itch came. I don't know what in the name of Satan himself that itch was, or why it happens, but it was so severe I called my husband and said I need this off of my head now, writing that just made me realise how weird that must’ve been for him hahahaha, poor guy.
My Husband's barber absolutely saved my scalp from being ripped off and thrown into the fiery depths of hell, he let us in when he had closed and said we could bring anyone, so my gorgeous support system came (thank you forever Adie). I sat in the chair and felt the burn of tears coming through and my eyes filled with water, I didn't want to cry because my 10 year old daughter was watching. Before anyone gets judgemental, my 10 year old was there in a bid to make mummy going bald "fun" and "totally ok" and something we controlled (see there it is again), rather than waking up one day and seeing mummy suddenly with no hair.
ANYWAY, those clippers touched my head and the sweet relief of that itch, that I can only assume is worse than a medieval STI, stopped and so did my tears. The itch was so bad that shaving my head felt amazing - let that be reassuring to you if you have this to come. It is important to embrace and relish in every tiny good moment you have through all this because it’s not the most fun experience. Voila! I was bald.
Don’t be fooled, the tears came hard and fast as soon as I sat down at home, my daughter was asleep, and reality sank in.
Before my treatment started I was offered a wig that’s somewhat paid for by the NHS and you then pay £75 or something, which I firmly declined. Not because I had to pay £75 but because I didn’t like them and thought I’d be totally fine without hair, it’s just hair, right? We can laugh now ha..ha..funny girl. Laugh, but don’t judge or offer your opinion until you’re in those heavy, cancerous shoes, ok? I stand by my decision, because those wigs aren’t for me still, but I definitely realised I wasn’t ok without hair.
Turns out wigs aren’t easy to find, but I found a couple that were really nice on Lullabellz https://www.stylink.it/7oMmduzNQdN #ad. A peachy pink one who we call Peachy Pam and a long blonde number we call Sandy. They’re very sturdy, professional (?? I don’t know if that’s the right word but they just seem like wigs for people who know what they’re doing), and you can style them below 180 degrees, I think. Always read the manual or whatever.
Here’s Peachy Pam, lace still intact at this point. What you’re seeing here is a sacred image I shared to a group chat when I first got her because I don’t take photos of myself ever anymore. Rest assured, the lace was cut back and she’s been worn out and about when I’ve been in the mood for hair, there just aren’t any photos to prove that I haven’t walked around looking unhinged like this.
Here you have Sandy, once again it’s a sacred group chat photo that none of you should ever have access to but here we are. She was a main character on my wedding day, so I actually do have photos with the lace cut back and you can see how great the wig is.
Zoom in if you want to, I did a pretty great job for a total amateur.
Anyway, these wigs are fun but making the lace bit at the front not look like a wig is time consuming and actually difficult (for me, I have no clue about these things).
My sister in law suggested we try a Temu/SHEIN wig. Rogue, risky business right? We bloody went for it didn’t we and the results were fantastic. Meet Bridget DuPont.
She’s saucy and I can’t figure out why, maybe it’s the fringe. This was like £11 and I can claw clip the hair up off of my neck when I want to and you still can’t tell it’s a wig. She’s diverse, she’s not heavy on your head at all, she’s comfy, and actually the fringe I changed to a middle parting and it still slaps.
I’m babbling on now, my point is, if you want to have hair one day, have hair!!! If you don’t the next day, then don’t. Have fun with it, or don’t, there are so many options out there for any budget and they can look really great. Some days a wig isn’t for me because I’m really self conscious and insecure and feel like the world is staring at me, other days I’m an unstoppable force and the wigs are a part of that.
Also, Adie’s barber shop is in Bury st. Edmunds, he is a wonderful human being and runs very long distances for charity (https://www.justgiving.com/page/a-doe-1716371152728?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Fa-doe-1716371152728&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-share see, you can even donate here).
So if you need a trim or whatever you call it when you go to a barbers shop, he’s the guy. This isn’t an ad either this is just my opinion because he’s great.
If you click the link for wigs, they might pay me just so you know, but I don’t know how it works.
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